Secrets to Interviews

I have a friend that's interviewing for a job, so I text him to tell him good luck. The conversation from there went as follows:

Me: "Good luck today!"
Him: "Thanks. As fate would have it - either after 23 years I suddenly have allergies...or I have a head cold.
Me: "Don't let the snot drip into your mouth during the interview...they'll think you're immature..."
Him: "Haha. Done. Also, I sneeze about every 3 minutes. Hopefully the interview isn't longer than that."
Me: "Oh I'm sure it won't be...grown-up interviews are quick. In and out. I mean, what do they really need to know?"
Him: "They have my resume...they should really just e-mail me all their questions and I'll get back to them when I can.
Me: "That seem reasonable. Who are they to try to take up your time with their useless questioning?"
Him: "Also, I wanna hit the gym after, so I just wore my gym clothes. And I rode my motorcycle so excuse my hair. Also, I'm expecting a call on another job so I may have to take a call in the middle of this."
Me: "Well, it's less of another job, and more my friend calling, but we need to talk about our fantasy football team, so you understand right? I'm kinda hungry, do you have any bagels or anything?"
Him: "But I'm testing my gluten allergy, so we're gonna need to go gluten free on these. No bagels? I'll call in an order - we can take a 15 - you go run and pick em up while I wrap up this football gig."
Me: "Lol! You win. Add on an "mmmkay pumpkin" and I think you've got the job."
Him: "Also, is this a smoke-free workplace? I don't smoke...but my dog does. And he can't go more than 45 minutes without me rubbing this ointment on his sores, so he's gonna need a place to run around while I'm here. Also, while you're on that bagel run, mind if I ask ya to swing by place and rub this on him? Thanks chief."
Him: "Ya know what, I feel good about this. I'll take the job! I'll start tomorrow!"
Me: "Lol, I won't be in until about 10:30 though. I don't like to wake up to early, makes me look groggy, and I don't do groggy well. And my band is playling a gig at Somedude's Playground this weekend, so they're going to come practice during lunch. You're gonna love it."

I think he's going to get the job, don't you?