Where have you been?

Rachel, where have you been? Rachel's been wearing the invisibility cloak and has been replaced by Miss Clark.

Oh Miss Clark, how your worries and fears differ from your counterpart's.
When someone asks "What are you doing later this week?" My thoughts revert to: "Preparing my sophomores for their final test from To Kill a Mockingbird. I also need to create a rubric for my junior's presentations for 'The Federalist Papers'. We're getting started on DBQ's for the AP test and I'm really worried about how well they will catch on."
When someone asks me how my day was, it relates directly to whether it was an "A" day or a "B" day.
Miss Clark dominates the majority of my thoughts, and I kid you not, I've even caught myself unintentionally use teaching techniques on my friends.
With that said, Miss Clark will be temporarily taking a rest as of Dec. 5. I will be done student teaching. That's right, I've survived this far, I can make it 7 more days. But before that time comes to an end, I'm going to post Miss Clark thoughts. Feel free to stop reading. This may be just for me...


A week and a half ago, a student at my school took his life. He was not one of my students, but I had students that were heavily affected. When a student dies, it affects every student in the school because the grief and sadness is related to such a young life being taken away. This causes me to grieve. But not on behalf of myself, on behalf of my students.
Last Friday my school went to the semi-finals for state football. The odds were heavily against us, and in the 1st quarter, our QB broke his collarbone. In goes 2nd string QB which is one of my 8th pd. students. He played an AMAZING game, and in the last minute of the 4th quarter, the opponents scored a touchdown making the final score 45-41. All I could think about was how sad my student must have been, and how difficult that ride home for him was.
I had a student who's mother passed away at the end of the quarter. I can't imagine what that would be like to handle at such a young age. She's missed hardly any school, but it is apparent how much of a struggle she is going through. All I can do is tell her that I'm sorry for her loss, and give her as much time as she needs to make up work.

As I see my students go through hard things like this, it makes my heart ache for them. Because of that, I enjoy the happy moments all the more. If only I could give them a glimpse of the potential of everything that they are. Even my the students that make me want to scream. I want them to know that they are amazing, and that life will always get better. Laugh. Sing. Dance. Do whatever it takes to make yourself feel good for a little while, and always count on the fact that tomorrow will be better. Always believe that things can be better. Everyone around you is going through something hard, believe that happiness is worth it.

That's all.
Laugh, be happy. It's always worth it.

Contradictions...

I realized today that I'm somewhat of a contradiction...

I'm sitting here working on lesson plans for teaching my 10th and 11th graders how to better understand the English language and use it properly. I'm dressed up because it's Parent Teacher Conferences, and I'm hoping parents will take me slightly seriously. I've got heels on, rings, earrings, bracelets, a cutesy little jacket, the whole nine yards. My hair is curly, and I bleach it blonde on purpose. As I do this, I'm listening to some new music I just bought off iTunes. What songs would you guess?
Well, if it were to be according to the way I'm dressed, it would be Brittany Spears (whom I own much of and teach a lot of dance to).
If it were according to my occupation, it would be some classical, or possibly soft rock, such as James Taylor or Carly Simon (also have on my computer).
Would it be my generation's pop culture music? Maybe some Katy Perry, or some Fray or Script, or maybe even B.O.B. or the beloved Jason DeRulo (again, I have all of these bands/artists in my library).

No, it is none of these people, instead it is a personal favorite that I can never get enough of and listen to way more than any of the artists listed above...


Rise Against. Angry, loud, wonderfully poetic, and crafted by the vegan genius that is Tim Mcllrath. I would LOVE to see them in concert, they've been to Utah a few times, but I haven't been able to go yet. They're the kind of band that you just know would be even better in concert and your life will never be the same after you see them. I would totally be the girl at the concert in a pink t-shirt and American Eagle skinny jeans... hated by everyone around me.

Do I think this makes me unique? Not really. I'm sure there are oh-so-many more just like me. I can't help but laugh when stuff like that comes up though.

Are you a contradiction?

Secrets to Interviews

I have a friend that's interviewing for a job, so I text him to tell him good luck. The conversation from there went as follows:

Me: "Good luck today!"
Him: "Thanks. As fate would have it - either after 23 years I suddenly have allergies...or I have a head cold.
Me: "Don't let the snot drip into your mouth during the interview...they'll think you're immature..."
Him: "Haha. Done. Also, I sneeze about every 3 minutes. Hopefully the interview isn't longer than that."
Me: "Oh I'm sure it won't be...grown-up interviews are quick. In and out. I mean, what do they really need to know?"
Him: "They have my resume...they should really just e-mail me all their questions and I'll get back to them when I can.
Me: "That seem reasonable. Who are they to try to take up your time with their useless questioning?"
Him: "Also, I wanna hit the gym after, so I just wore my gym clothes. And I rode my motorcycle so excuse my hair. Also, I'm expecting a call on another job so I may have to take a call in the middle of this."
Me: "Well, it's less of another job, and more my friend calling, but we need to talk about our fantasy football team, so you understand right? I'm kinda hungry, do you have any bagels or anything?"
Him: "But I'm testing my gluten allergy, so we're gonna need to go gluten free on these. No bagels? I'll call in an order - we can take a 15 - you go run and pick em up while I wrap up this football gig."
Me: "Lol! You win. Add on an "mmmkay pumpkin" and I think you've got the job."
Him: "Also, is this a smoke-free workplace? I don't smoke...but my dog does. And he can't go more than 45 minutes without me rubbing this ointment on his sores, so he's gonna need a place to run around while I'm here. Also, while you're on that bagel run, mind if I ask ya to swing by place and rub this on him? Thanks chief."
Him: "Ya know what, I feel good about this. I'll take the job! I'll start tomorrow!"
Me: "Lol, I won't be in until about 10:30 though. I don't like to wake up to early, makes me look groggy, and I don't do groggy well. And my band is playling a gig at Somedude's Playground this weekend, so they're going to come practice during lunch. You're gonna love it."

I think he's going to get the job, don't you?

Sigh...

"We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glowworm."

*Winston Churchill

Wisdom from Teen Wolf... =)

So, yeah, I watched MTV's Teen Wolf this summer. Epically awesome because it was so terrible, but I couldn't help myself. I LOVED it! In the 2nd to last episode, Scott(Teen Wolf)'s mom gives Scott some love advice... and I still think it's genius, so I thought I'd post it.


"Have you told her how you feel?"
"She's knows."
"Come on, she knows. She knows? Listen, dumba$, I'm gonna let you in on a secret that most guys don't even have a clue about. Right? You ready? Women love words."
"Huh?"
"You need to tell her how you feel. Just say it. Say it again. Say it differently. Learn how to say it better. Learn how to sing it. You know, just, write it in a poem, in a letter, attached to flowers. Carve it in a tree. On the sidewalk with cement. Tattoo on your arm."
"Really?"
"No, not really a tattoo. Just, tell her the truth. Tell her anything and everything you want."


Women love words. Agree?

I guess it IS just me...

We all know the age old statement "Is it just me or...(insert funny/stupid/depressing statement here)". Example:
"Is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
"Is it just me, or are you sick of all the rain this year?"
"Is is just me, or is that an incredibly ugly baby?"
"Is it just me, or do you get annoyed by the sound of your voice?"
Well, I recently had a comical revelation that helped me answer this rhetorical question... It IS just me....

I recently had Taco Night with some friends. We made some tacos (naturally) and dessert, walked to the nearest Redbox, and watched Unstoppable. It was a fun night for all. The part of the night that made it great, and has left me thinking even 2 weeks later, was a brief conversation I had with my friends. It started out:
*Talking about fun nights out
*Talking about plans girls make
*Talking about "girl's nights"
*Talking about how girly girls are
*Talking about how funny girly things are
*Talking about how guys would never purposely have "guy's night"
And that was the point where I could no longer follow the conversation. I actually interjected, and said,
"Wait a second, I have tons of guy friends that do 'guy's nights.'"
My guy friends responded by telling me in various ways that guys will never turn down the chance to be around girls. If they do there's something wrong with them. I was like
"No seriously, I have way more guy friends than girl friends, and a whole bunch of my groups of guy friends do it. There have been a bunch of nights that I don't get invited to stuff because they decide to make it a guy's night."

There was a disturbing and embarrassing silence that followed that statement. Followed by muffled giggles. And it suddenly occurred to me. My guy friends are just telling me that because they don't want me around. Harsh reality, maybe, but honestly, it made me laugh more than anything. I don't take offense super easily, and still won't in the future. But the revelation of this statement really made me laugh. I don't know how I didn't see it sooner, but really it is true...

So, for the most part, guys want girls around all the time. Yes, this makes sense. But it seems that the statement "Is it just me, or do your guy friends have guy's nights ALL THE TIME" really IS just me... HA!

You're going to LOVE this guy!

I have a friend that recently posted a website on her blog, and I can't get enough of it. I read it all the time. Prepare for shock and awe. The website is:
singleswardhopper.com
And my friend's blog/response to it is:
Brooke's Begining

I wish I had more clever and amazing things to add to Brooke's post, but she's pretty much got it covered. I will add this though, I sent an e-mail to this fine young lad asking if the post was a joke. He responded, "No, it's for real." There you have it folks. This guy is bonafide.
Enjoy, because I certainly do.

More Restaurant Rants...

Dear Mr. Winking Winkerson... stop it. Seriously, stop it. It's not ok, particularly when you are a grown man, to wink more than once a conversaton, sometimes a sentence. It's not charming, I won't give you free dessert. It's just creepy and gross, and creepy. Stop winking.

Dear Old Lady Campers... I make 2.13 an hour. Your tip, while certainly based on the quality of my service, also acts as a way of renting your booth/space. If you stay for 4 hours, you're cheating me out of 4 more possible tips. Not to mention, sweet old ladies, just because you're old, doesn't make it ok to leave 10%.

Dear Sir Talks-a-Lot... I'm sure you're an entertaining person. I bet you have a rich and full lifestyle that basically forces the sharing of deeply personal stories. You know what though, I'm a waitress, I've got stuff to do, you're not the only table in the restaurant, and mostly, I don't care about your life. At all. I'm always up for a good joke, or a silly anecdote, but I just don't want to hear about your genius grandson, or about the time that you drove to South Dakota with your dogs. I'm a stranger, not your barber.

Dear Questions McGee... My job is to know everything about the food in my restaurant. All of it, every ingredient. So when you ask me questions, I'm happy to answer them. Unless you ask a series of questions about food you know you don't care about. Requiring me to tell you about 13 things on the menu, and having you end up saying "Eh, I'll just get what I always get" makes me want to punch you. In the face. Hard.

Dear Really Ready Rudy... If you take a long time to decide what you want to eat, that's ok. I'll come back to the table 9 times, because that's my job. But if you make me stand in front of your table while you decide, I'll get upset. "Are we ready to order? Do we need another minute?" "No, we're ready.... I'll get the....Well I'm trying to decide....I got this last time, it was really good, but I don't think I feel that that this time...What are you getting?" "I can give you some more time, that's no problem." "No, really, we're ready....I can't decide what I want, what are you getting?" Yeah, that just makes me want to kill you.


Would it sound like a lie if I told you that I actually really like my job?

Blah, blah, blah.

*I could seriously live off cinnamon bears and ice cream for the rest of my life.
*One of my favorite parts of the day is cleaning out my ears.
*I love Celtic music.
*Word searches could keep me entertained for hours.
*Boy Meets World is the greatest show ever created. That's not even opinion, that's just fact.
*One of my pet peeves, and I don't have many, is eXspecially.... not a word. Not a word.
*If I could be an animal, I'd be a duck. Hands down.
*I absolutely love the taste of chocolate SlimFast...
*The clicking noise that iPods make is one of my favorite sounds. Seriously.
*I have a weird celebrity crush on Seth Meyers and TJ Thyne.
*The first cd I ever owned was 14:59 by SugarRay.
*Sleeping in my contacts was a bad habit of 7 years that I broke as a New Year's resolution this year. Last year I stopped biting my nails.
*In December I found a pair of boots in my closet that I forgot that I owned..
*I make the best cupcakes IN THE WORLD!!
*In 3 years of waitressing, I've only dropped a plate of food once. It was a little boy's spaghetti. When dinner was over, he told me he'd be my boyfriend.
*I've never had a pet. Mostly, I don't really like animals. Yes, I do think this makes me a bad person.
*One of my favorite items of clothing is a well-fitted white t-shirt. Just can't get enough.
*UFC fights rock my world. Faber, Muir, and GSP!
*I can't eat Jell-o. I can barely even look at Jell-o. It's making me sick to even think about it...
*This is the top most played song on my iTunes right now... Not to mention this video is HOT!!



The second most played is...



Bones, Bones, Bones, Bones!



Suit up!

Ohh.. siblings. How I love thee.

My birthday was a couple weeks ago. Yay. 23. Finally here. I'm stoked for 23, good things to come. On Sunday we had a party for me and my brother Jesse. I got the most wonderful card from the oldest of the family, Josh. As a pre-req, if you don't remember or know about the story of my sister La, click here. This is probably the best/worst/meanest/greatest/funniest card I've gotten in my 23 years... enjoy.

Happy B-day Sis.
We love you. La would be proud of you this day. May
you laugh when no one is there, always. La is
listening.
Love, Josh and Alexza

My new favorite thing....

I've been wanting something for several months now... I think about it all the time, and I get overly excited to think about actually having it. I have all sorts of plans about what I will do with one in the future, and I've become a little obsessed with it. I wanted one for Christmas, but that didn't end up panning out the way I thought it would. I thought maybe I would ask for one for my birthday, but I was still hesitant. In reality, I could probably have just gone out and found one myself, but I kept putting it off for some reason.

Well...

My birthday is at the end of the month, and for some lucky reason, I got an early birthday present... A UKELELE!! I can't tell you how excited I am about this. I've already been on YouTube learning chords, tuning it on my piano, and I'm starting to learn how to play "Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World". I can't wait to be able to sit down and just play songs. I'm totally gonna play for my students, and they will think Miss Clark is the weirdest teacher they've ever had. And I will love it. I will play for my nieces, and my eventual nephews. And they will tell me that I'm weird, and I will love it. Oh my heck, I just thought about finding a hymn book for the ukelele. Oh no, now I'm even more excited..
Only catch though... I'm really not much of a singer, so everyone else will have to sing for me. But it won't slow me down!
My new favorite thing.. my ukelele. :)

Shhh... you're all alone....

Alone. Ah, alone. Can you think of the last time that you've spent more than 6 hours alone? (With the exception of sleeping for my single friends) It's not something we do a whole lot. We go to school, we go to work, we spend time with friends, we talk to our spouses... well, you do, not me so much. I will now turn to the I form to avoid such a mistake again...

I live at home. Yes, almost 23 and at home. And I LOVE it. I've been the only one in the house for around 8 years now. I lived in Orem for the first 4 years of school, but now reside in the basement of my parent's beautiful home. Because it's just me and the 'rents, no siblings, no roommates, I get to spend a fair amount of time alone. Now I'm talkin' just me hanging out doing homework, watching Glee or Boy Meets World, making some din din, solving word puzzles, and such. But as I do these things my Mom and Dad are around. I get to talk to them a lot. I talk to people at work and school all day, then I come home at night and talk to my parents and friends. Generally, I do a lot of talking in the day. I like this. I like to talk. It feels normal.

My parents have been in St. George since Wednesday. It's a frequent thing for them to do. My parents travel quite a bit, and go to St. George all the time. Consequently, I get to spend a good amount of time in the house alone. And I like it.

I spent much of this weekend in a stationary state. I hurt my foot in my dance class at school, and had to elevate and ice and compress and what not. As I did this, I caught up on my reading for my literature classes. I had a total of 3 1/2 novels to complete this weekend. After about 5 hours of this on Thursday, I started to not feel normal, and I started to wonder if my voice worked anymore. I had to call a friend to make sure. It did, and does. On Friday, after about 4 hours, I just fell asleep, cause I was bored. On Saturday, the silence was relieved by a night at work, and P.S. I Love You when I got home. And today, after church, the silence begins again. I've gotten to the point where I'm blending normal and abnormal... and talking to myself out loud has set in. (Just to make sure my voice still works, and to increase my insanity...)

I really like to be alone. I think it's refreshing and it keeps me in tune with me. But right now, I might be too in tune with me. Stop talking to yourself Rach... it's not normal...

The rise of man is endless. Be in hope.
All stars are gathered in his horoscope.
The brute man of the planet, he will pass,
Blown out like forms of vapor on a glass.
And from this quaking pulp of life will rise
The superman, child of the higher skies.
Immortal, he will break the ancient bars,
Laugh and reach out his hands among the stars.
—Edwin Markham.

"It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship...There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations- these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit... Next to the blessed sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses."
C.S. Lewis